BAU or Business As Usual: that thing you used to do.

The doctrine of Frustration: setting up your IT to work from your Home Office. See also: Home Schooling.

Force Majeure: what happens to your typing when your 6 o’clock gin is moved forwards due to Frustration.

Pandemic Rent Abatement: Quantum Mechanics: a theoretical number that has a probability of 1 being between 0% and 100% but ceases to exist if any mutually bound landlord and tenant pair attempt to settle on it.  Law: who the hell knows?

Video Conference: recently determined by a ground-breaking Court of Appeal judgment to be a frustrating event (I think that’s what they said, the audio was breaking up).

Mullet Dressing: correct attire for a Video Conference ie. business on top, party out of camera.

Team meeting: getting to know your colleagues properly for the first time ever, on live video cf. BAU.

Home Office: depending on context; study, dining room, kitchen, lounge, bed, garden, shower, toilet, spa pool etc.

Home Schooling: children required to stay at home teaching you how to fix your IT issues see also: Frustration.

Public Health Expert: there is no satisfactory single definition of this phrase (1):  person unaccustomed to attention who now has to beat the media off with a stick (see also eg. Infectious Disease Specialist); alternatively (2): person accustomed to attention, suddenly deprived of it (see also eg. Obesity Researcher) nb. little useful knowledge beyond own expertise does not define a Public Health Expert cf. anyone else talking in the media about COVID-19.

Wellness Blogger: not a Public Health Expert.

By Iain Thorpe, Juno Lawyer