1. I’ve been taking time off to recover from burnout. As I prepare to re-enter the workforce, I’m aware that navigating references from my last job will be a challenge I’ll need to face.
I’m not quite sure what you mean by navigating references, I am going to read it as navigating triggers that used to be a source of stress?
If we aren’t consciously aware of our triggers, our past experiences can colour our perception of the now and influence our actions. Driven from a flight or fight protection mode, which in the long run is likely to be unhelpful for us. We need to be able to detect early if we are triggered, and quickly and effectively regulate our emotions so we can face the present calmly and rationally. If we can't do that – e.g if we are too emotionally bruised by past experience a therapy like EMDR could be very useful.
For example, If I worked under a Partner who was authoritarian, lacked care, and shamed me in front of others, I might find myself hypervigilant around my new leader. My brain might be in high alert ‘fight/flight’ mode, scanning for threat (top psychological threats are fear of judgement, failure, shame and exclusion). If in survival mode, this could lead me to read my new leader’s actions through a ‘threat lens’, misinterpreting their behaviour or intent or being quick to judge. I may also avoid forming an authentic working relationship with them as a form of avoidance /protection, which is also not helpful.
I need to be calm enough to see this leader's interactions for what they are, being present in the present, without my history dictating my future interactions and story.
Hopefully this makes sense?
A podcast episode of mine that may be helpful: What Matters Most | Emotional Regulation
2. [Burnout] I recently found out that you can get burnout even in a job that you really enjoy. I thought burnout only happened in a stressful job that you're not happy in, or lacking support. Apparently absolutely loving your job and having fun but just overdoing it can still cause burnout. Your views?
Yes, I think passion and hard work can be a risk factor for burnout if we don’t also get recovery. Think of those that work in the care sector (nurses, teachers etc). Often they are driven my passion, and whether due to lack of resources or a drive to serve, they sacrifice their own care to continue delivering for others. That’s a highway for burnout.
If you go back to the drive, threat, soothe system – we want to oscillate between drive (performance) and soothe (recovery). If we don’t recover, our brain is more likely to tip into threat mode. Consider mini recoveries daily and how you can regularly oscillate between performance and recovery to balance stress hormones (an annual holiday won’t suffice). It's also helpful to think about different types of recovery – cognitive, social, physical and emotional.
3. I see members of my legal team struggle to let go of control of a matter where the client needs to make the commercial call and the lawyer tries to overrule with their own judgement. How can I encourage those lawyers to give up their need to control and let go?
Antonia and I have a whole episode on control which is to be released on our podcast (What Matters Most) next month. I will get Flic to send the link when it is out.
People need to discover the root cause of their need for control. Is it about managing anxiety, perfectionism, the need to be right? Understanding why you want to control enables you to employ the most effective strategies?
E.g. if I want to ‘control’ because I have high internal standards to always do the best work – perhaps shifting my mindset is that if I have instructed the client to the best of my ability, then that is me doing my best work. E.g. I focus on the interaction with the client, not the final outcome which I can’t control if the client has chosen to not follow advice.
Also, maybe a team discussion around the defining the purpose of the team and outlining what success as a team is would be useful. This may help redefine scope and boundaries of the role, and provide measurable success markers.
When all else fails, get them to sing Frozen’s Let It Go! It may sound like a joke, but it is actually a psychological strategy called cognitive defusion (google it) and it works.
4. I had a team member a while ago who seemed fine on the surface... always delivered work on time, never complained but later shared they’d been really struggling with anxiety and burnout. I still feel bad I didn’t pick up on it. Any advice for how to spot those signs earlier or create space where people feel safe to speak up?
You won’t be alone in that experience. The fact that you want to be able to effectively spot the signs of concern and care for your team is great. As I mentioned in our discussion, having effective wellbeing discussions is a leadership skill that needs to be taught and practised. This includes having proactive wellbeing set up discussions with all members of your team, having regular structured check-ins with every member of your team by which you have a good internal structure on how to hold that conversation. The other part of the equation is that your team member has to be willing to engage in those conversations. I believe strong relationships are the bedrock for that to occur. E.g. I am not going to open up to someone that I don’t feel genuinely knows and cares for me.
I run training on this regularly for leaders. If you would like to chat more, please get in touch.
5. Is it permissible to replay this webinar for our inhouse team meeting?
Fine by me [and Juno!]
6. Sometimes, bullying behaviours are the reason negative self-narratives develop. I'm interested in your insights on this
If you have worked for or with bullies for an extended period of time, it is completely understandable that this has impacted your thoughts/perspectives.
Coaching/Psychological support may be really helpful in untangling these and rewriting the scripts you hold about yourself, others, your work, etc.
Ngā mihi maioha, Jacqui, for your insights and generosity while working with Juno on this very important subject.
If you would like to get in touch with Jacqui to learn more about getting support for your team, feel free to reach out.
Jacqui Maguire
Registered Clinical Psychologist + Science Communicator
IECL Certified Executive Coach
Wellingtonian of the Year 2021 - Education
P +64 27 426 8160 E [email protected] W www.jacquimaguire.co.nz